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Mar 12th
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Fifth Column

Fifth Column - Abu Dhabi

Fifth Column - Abu Dhabi

And so, for one last time in 2009, Fifth Column is here for a final dose of rubbish jokes and nonsensical wordplay. And, of course, the all-important final standings in TUF1WCIAWCC. How much did Nico win by this year? Let's find out.

 

Fifth Column - Brazil

Fifth Column - Brazil

The meaningless nonsense of the drivers championship may be over, but the meaningless nonsense of Fifth Column is far from finished, and neither is the meaningless nonsense of TUF1WCIAWCC. All the meaningless nonsense from Brazil is right here.

Fifth Column - Japan

Fifth Column - Japan

Another overtaking-fest in Japan, then. If you managed to fall asleep and dream your way through the race. Otherwise, it was quite dull really. Never mind, here's some Fifth Column lovelies for you, featuring the all-important TUF1WCIAWCC standings.

Fifth Column - Singapore

Fifth Column - Singapore

Singapore hosted the second night race of it's lifetime, but this time no contrived safety car antics could make the race diverting. Still, Fifth Column once again endeavours to provide you with some nonsense and TUF1WCIAWCC to keep you happy.

Fifth Column - Italy

Fifth Column - Italy

Historic Monza hosted the needlessly boring fun of the Italian Grand Prix, and with all the unimportant stuff completed, Fifth Column comes bursting onto your computer screens, filled with rubbish humour and the latest TUF1WCIAWCC standings.

Fifth Column - Belgium

Fifth Column - Belgium

The F1 circus rolled on to the ever-thrilling surroundings of Belgium for fun, frites and Force India frolics. So here is another Fifth Column, slightly late and less funny than ever, but with TUF1WCIAWCC standings to make you all happy.

Fifth Column - Europe

Fifth Column - Europe

F1 returned to track action after their summer holidays with the endless thrill that was the European GP in Valencia, and so that means Fifth Column is back as well, attempting to bore you into pained submission quicker than the race itself managed.

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Features and Comment

 

Season's Greetings

Keep up-to-date with all of PatroniseF1's bumper season preview right here.

 

A Bitter Pill

This week's Patty Weekly talks about the no-shows at Bahrain's champion's event.

 

Goodnight, America

The Head fears that USF1's failure ruins any chances of the US GP coming back.

 

Top of the Rants

The Beard discusses Ferrari's odd and rambling rants.

 

On Second Thoughts

Michael Schumacher: the cheat. Is it all really that much of an issue?

 

Setting the Grid

The FIA need to swap Stefan GP and USF1 sooner rather than later, says The Head.

 

Best of the Rest

The Ankle looks back at six great drivers who were never to win an F1 title.